Thursday, December 18, 2008
I just squished a mosquito
The title of this post has absolutely no bearing on its subject, but I just squished a mozzie and I'm rather pleased about it.
My last post was about those three little words. "I Love You'. Those three words make up my favourite phrase in the entire english language. They can reduce a person to the depths of crusty loneliness, or they can raise a person to heights achieved only by the most magnificient pavlova.
Turns out not so much for me with the three little words. In a conversation on Monday morning I was told (among other things) that; 'your friends think that you're immature, offensive and annoying'... 'you think you're funny, but in fact you're just rude'... and my personal favourite, 'if you were like this around my friends they would cut you down and you would embarrass me'.
Now, the fact that I can't be arsed spell checking 'embarassed' shouldn't count against me.
This conversation on Monday morning that really shook me. Not just figuratively. I called my good friend Ms Coventry about an hour after the fact and I was shaking. For a good twenty five minutes my personality was dissected and torn apart. And I shook.
I don't hurt easily, but this woman who just a few short days ago had told me that she loved me had decided the my personality, the thing that makes me, well, me, was something that needed drastic changes. I'm in favour of change. I change pants, t-shirt and breakfast cereal almost every other day. But having someone tell you that your personality needs to change... I'm more likely to start creating artistic tea towels featuring tasteful nudes of well known chefs. Not a bad idea come to think of it.
I won't speak badly of her. Not even after she made me shake. She has issues with her body image. Massive issues. First five weeks - lights out sex. No exception. Whenever she got out of bed I was told to look away. Jeans and large tops were the clothes of choice, whatever the occasion. She was not an overweight girl. Sexy, confident and clever. Didn't like herself a whole bunch though... But, I liked her. Would have loved her. With all of me.
I've been writing scripts this week for a new food and wine show that I'm directing and cutting, so I haven't really let myself think about the whole thing yet... I sent my final drafts for episodes 1-4 to the producer this afternoon so tonight I'm going to drink enough to kill any thoughts that I have, might have, will ever have.
I'm newly 34 years old. And I have friends that don't think I'm offensive.
I'm chucking that on my CV.
Before I pass out.
Anyone know any single women?