Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Diggity Dog

I moved 3 weeks ago. Not only did I manage to move into a place that actually feels like home, but I also inherited a dog. He belongs to a guy down the street that doesn't seem to look after him at all well. That being said he's a healthy, happy fella and I love havin him around.

One of the conditions of my getting the lease on this place was that I would look after the dog. The owner of the house I'm renting, let's call her Jane because that is in fact her name, had been taking care of him for the last year or so. When I came to look at the place - right now I should point out that when I moved, I moved two doors up the street... really... used to live at #23, now live at #19... but I digress - when I came to look at the place, bottle of good Sav Blanc in hand she made it clear that as long as I would look after the mutt I could live in her house.

Given that I love dogs it was not a stretch to promise that I'd throw things, put water in things, ladle food into things and generally become a de facto dog owner.

Meet Jack. The Golden Retriever that doesn't retrieve but sure does like having his belly scratched. Mind you, so do I.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

It's been a while, and you still look the same...

So here I am.

Back once again with the renegade master.

A year older. I had a birthday last week. To all those that sent cards and presents, thank you. Which is to say thank you to none of you. That hurt my insides. Actually what probably hurt my insides is the cocktails and substances and dancing like a cirque de soliel dancer. It should be noted here that I dance brilliantly. My hips have a life of their own. Quite often they won't return home until long after I've gone to bed.

Everything aside, I've missed posting here. I like the fact that what I think and put to paper (?) is read by people that I have come to like and admire. While I haven't been posting or commenting I have been keeping up with ya'll, and I feel very priveledged and honoured that some of you have been asking where I am and how I am.

Truth is I'm not great and I don't want to go into it. So there.

I'm still trying to fight crime with sexy results, I'm still trying to send incontinent intercontinental ninja florists, I'm still trying to replace lightbulbs while spattering by bed covers in ever more interesting patterns of blood, I'm still falling over myself trying to fall in love and I'm still walking that fine, fine line between beauty and the beauty of truth.

So, all you talented folk who have gievn me your time to read my ramblings... cheers. I am back.

Older, slightly thinner and more confused that ever before. Now if that ain't a movie poster I don't know what is.